Fitness Day
by Lightning-Dono
Summary: Eggman wants to retire from world domination, but before he resorts to the finer things in life, he wants to get fit...


**Lightning-Dono**: Where did I get this idea? No clue. Just read. ;)

"Today is the day of my retirement from attempted world domination." The obese man sighed deeply, trying to sound like someone who was disappointed that he had finally given up on his job. But deep inside a little cloud was growing a silver lining and butterflies were peacefully floating around in his heart. At last Sonic and his pesky friends wouldn't have a reason to bug him! The sea of robots before him saluted, as though in understanding. In reality, they were just hunks of programmed metal, no matter how many creative ways you managed to look at them through.

"Yes Eggman sir," they recited automatically. This, in fact, had been programmed by the genius himself at the creation of each robot's system. The response was nothing but a planned occurrence, nothing of any coincidence. Or anything that had to do with them having a mind of their own.

"Which means today I will also be picking out the worthiest robots to serve me for the remainder of my life and robots to continue my legacy."

At these words, the robots nodded (In sync, mind you), soaking in the words through their metal pores. The problem was that not a single word had been understood. Just that their master desperately wanted something and wanted it that second (Or so they assumed.). However, might I remind you again that they are merely neatly assembled bits of metal. They really couldn't have cared less.

"So today, instead of just being like any other day-," Eggman's eyes darted around the room to catch sight of any blue, "-I have scheduled it to be a testing day. Any robot who would like to serve me please line up on my left!"

They all scrambled to Eggman's left, not having a clue what they were doing. Their stringy joints carried them in place as they moved almost subconsciously into their places. Apparently, it seemed that every one of his robots was horribly loyal for they had all volunteered to serve him for life. Unless the man became overly excited or angry and smashed them to bits.

Eggman looked revolted at his idiocy. He had programmed these robots with his own hands to obey his every command and not make choices of their own, and therefore, he had to face the consequences.

"All right, the lower half move to my right."

Two of them filed up close to his right leg, the first one caressing it gently as though it lusted for love it could never have. Eggman fought back the strong reflex to push it away, just to feel it crumble beneath his foot like the gravel he often stepped on outside of his base...

"Stop," he ordered it scathingly, his voice dripping with deadly venom.

The robot's eyes automatically became oddly opaque as the emotion chip kicked in, causing it to shed nonexistent tears. This one happened to be his test robot, one that had been kept locked up inside a cell for experimental purposes...and for the fact that it sobbed with a metallic sound, and continuously did it. Whether it be night or day, lunch or dinner, it made a sound roughly bordering that of fingernails scraping across a chalkboard.

"And now..." He thrust his arm dramatically behind him, throwing his head backwards for those to his left to get a better view. "For the test!" With a mighty wave of his hand, he unveiled a rather huge room, filled useless looking apparatus. Eggman paused for a second for all of his robots to take this wondrous (or in his eyes) sight in before continuing on with his speech.

"Now you might all be wondering what this is all about! Well, you will now find out!" (I'm sure all of his robots are paying attention to this horribly long, drawn-out speech of his.) He released an unnecessarily loud evil cackle, which sounded more like a rooster crowing. "To past my test, you are to aid me in my path to physical well-being!"

The robots blinked in unison, raised their joined arms to meet their hands to their heads, and tentatively made a scratching motion. It was a lot like watching a group of mimes, all with the same idea at the same exact time.

"You see, in order to retire, I must retire with a body that will attract women to me at the beach, a body that will win me riches and fame!" Eggman was now grinning widely to the entire audience. "THEREFORE," he annunciated loudly, "before today ends, you will have me as fit as ever!"

The emotional robot groped for Eggman's leg and cried into it.

"B-But Sir!" it moaned. "W-We c-can't accomplish-ish something l-like that in s-s-such a short amount of t-t-t-t-time..."

"Yes you can!" Eggman yelled, sounding like he were communicating with someone sitting on the other side of the planet. "I built you all with top intelligence and common sense!" (Are you sure, Eggman?) "So you should be able to carry out such a simple task!" (Yeah, right, Eggman. It'll take virtually forever to rid you of that amount of fat...)

"Yes, Your Highness," chanted the needed robots. The robots on the left streamed into the room, eyes reflecting nothing but a dull gray area filled with aerobics equipment and treadmills.


End file.
